by Julie Holmquist
Tyndale House Publishers, 2018
Reviewed by Diane Busch
Anyone and everyone considering adoption should read this important book, written from a Christ-centered perspective. Julie touches on all the questions, fears, doubts, insecurities, and struggles of those considering or starting the process of adoption.
Written by one who has “been there, done that”, she shares her family’s story of adoption (as well as others’ experiences) as she guides you through all the issues you may face. Pertinent scripture verses are sprinkled throughout. Prayer and Bible reading are encouraged as you embark on this journey as well as maintaining a close relationship with God.
At the end of each chapter is a “rest stop” with Scripture or questions for reflection. And a “journey journal” is encouraged to help you track what you are thinking and feeling and learning along this journey.
Befittingly, Chapter 1 discusses expectations, which is a great place to start. There are chapters to assist you in making decisions, to help you during the process, and to guide you at home after adoption. Julie shares what she and her family have learned and imparts real and practical advice for many situations, emotions, fears, and hurdles you will encounter.
On page 25 there is a list of 7 core issues that adopted children may deal with, in contrast to children who grow up in a family of origin (According to social workers Deborah Silverstein and Sharon Kaplan-Roszia) : loss, rejection (abandonment), guilt/shame, identity, intimacy (relationships), and mastery/control.
Since many children are not adopted at birth, but later in their development and experience, on pages 28-30 the author lists several other useful books that can help you in parenting wounded children.
As she ends the book she makes sure you know that it’s all worth it: the risk, the struggles, the financial burden, the waiting, the joy and the sorrow. I recommend this book to anyone considering adoption, starting the journey, or already down the road. You will gain much-needed wisdom, insight, and inspiration .
My personal opinion: With all due respect to the author and her family’s story, for those who are considering adoption or are early in the process, I suggest you stop reading at the top of page 203. Just know that “it is worth it”. Then maybe a few years down the road, read the last 17 pages. (I am just trying to save you some tears.)